my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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