You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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