so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
