I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
