Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
