at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
