bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize