When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
