i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
