just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
