when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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