so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
