we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize
