You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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