THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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