I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
