i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
