She's JV to your varsity
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
