i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
