She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
