I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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