she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
