I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize