You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
