I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize