I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
