Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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