my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
