Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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