I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
