i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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