We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
