i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
