My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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