just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I am never drinking with the goths again.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
