she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
