Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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