I'm jealous of your bromance
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
