im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
