Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
