halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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