i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
