you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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