So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I just want to make out with him forever
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
