so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Randomize