Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I have fence marks all over my body
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
