eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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