I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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