I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
