Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
