what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
