I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
