Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
