Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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