it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
