I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
