What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
