I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
