i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
