paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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