sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
