do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
