I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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