You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
