Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
