It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
How's work?
Spinning.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
