Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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